A Brief (and Mildly Chaotic) History of A•C•M•E
A•C•M•E Corporation was founded in 1944, during a time of incredible demand for innovative, questionably necessary, and occasionally over-engineered products. From outdoor survival tools to indoor confusion devices, we quickly became the brand of choice for those seeking function, flair, and a hint of bewilderment.
Where We Are Today
Flash forward a few decades—and several safety investigations later—A•C•M•E is now a proudly direct-to-customer manufacturer of absolutely everything you never knew you needed. Mousetraps that catch mice and existential dread? Check. Self-gift-wrapping machines? Naturally. Jet-powered shoes? We don’t recommend them—but we do sell them.
Our commitment to innovation (and plausible deniability) keeps us at the front of the “everything” market. We also believe in giving back—so we regularly sponsor local sports events, small businesses, and the occasional amateur time-travel experiment.
Who We Are
At A•C•M•E Corporation, we don’t just sell products—we sell possibilities. Whether you’re looking to stand out, blend in, speed up, or mysteriously hover three inches above ground, we have a product for you.
A•C•M•E: Absurd Concepts, Masterfully Executed!
Just don’t ask about the return policy.
Warning: Use as directed. Or not. We’re not your supervisor!